Newlywed New Communication Skills: Our Honeymoon in Paris

Newlywed New Communication Skills: Our Honeymoon in Paris. Out of everything I was looking forward to on my honeymoon, disagreement wasn't one of them. Nonetheless, God gave us an opportunity right out of the gate to hone our communication skills!

Once Upon a Time....

All my dreams had come true, I had found my soulmate. On a lovely September day in 2002, we entered into Holy Matrimony. Hand in hand in front of 400 of our closest friends and family vowing to love each other like Jesus.

The celebration was wonderful, but we couldn't wait to step out into the greatest adventure of our lives, Marriage!   As we drove off the excitement couldn't be higher, we were finally on our first adventure as a married couple! We could now be alone in our own hotel room, in fact it was now a command from God to enjoy each other in the best ways. If that wasn't amazing enough we would kick it all off while honeymooning in Paris! 

What could possibly go wrong?

Communication doesn't come naturally

When we give premarital guidance, we always encourage couples to pursue healthy communication in marriage. It can sound somewhat ominous and cliché. Of course, we now speak from experience, communication doesn't come naturally.  We warn couples against hashing out differences of opinion while hungry or tired, especially about important things. Sometimes the best teacher is experience, we were about to get the opportunity.

Our Honeymoon in Paris

We had just spent a lovely day full of pain au chocolat, baguettes, and strolls by the Seine. A street artist even sketched our picture at the base of La Tour d'Eiffel.

No smart phones in those days, and cell phones weren’t practical to use internationally. Social media hadn't come onto the scene. Which meant we weren’t trying to find wifi at every café so we could post, or search for a good restaurant. We used good old fashioned paper maps. My hubby’s 4 years of French from high school and college came in handy, I just melt when he speaks French, even if he is just ordering a ham sandwich.  All of our photos were taken with a disposable camera, on a wing and prayer just hoping they would turn out. (It's hard to believe how far we've come in a couple decades of technology) On the up side, no extra distractions; on the downside, no ability to search near you to find what you are looking for, or say how much it might cost to get back to the Champs Élysées? 

Lost in translation

Paris was turning dark while we were at the top of the Eiffel Tower, the city of lights was showing it's namesake.

We hadn’t eaten in quite a while, I guess we were just living on love or perhaps the newlywed budget. In those days, we carried cash with us, most places didn’t take a card, especially taxis. After our full day, we were left with a certain amount of cash to eat dinner and get back to the hotel.  

Having already walked about 10 miles, my feet were killing me. Of course I was wearing platform shoes because I wanted to be cute on my honeymoon; and we. were. STARVING.  

My hubby flags down a taxi hoping he can tell us how much the ride back to the Champs Élysées might cost. He wouldn’t tell us (despite making the drive for 1000’s of tourists before us), we had no way of knowing if we would have enough cash to pay him and get dinner.  We decide to walk, ensuring our ability to afford dinner. Tired, hungry, aching feet our lack of experience with communicating in our marriage was about to rear it's head.

My hubby starts crossing the street.  Something he didn’t fully realize about me yet was, I don’t like to jay walk or break rules of any kind.  He is now half way across the street, I'm standing on the sidewalk and he says “come on.”  I loose it and break down crying, my new husband is asking me to break the law in a foreign country!   At least this is what is going through my head.  My crying doesn’t help because he’s hungry, tired and now frustrated I didn’t walk with him. There are now cars driving between us, and we are across the street from each other. I’m thinking, “I’m going to loose him or get kidnapped while he is across the street!”  He’s thinking, “there were no cars when I crossed, it was safe, I was taking her on a shortcut so her hurting feet didn’t have to walk extra steps.” 

Learning new skills can be scary and challenging

I didn't loose him or get kidnapped and we made it to our destination with enough cash for dinner. Rather than give in to the temptation to be obstinate, we talked it out and and admitted we were both only emotional because of our hunger and fatigue; and both apologized for our lack of communicating our thoughts and needs in the moment. With full bellies, we made it safely back to the hotel, happy with each other and our Newlywed New Communication Skill on Our Honeymoon in Paris.  

Since we were Newlyweds and learned a new communication skill on our Honeymoon in Paris We have traveled all over the world together and you may or may not be surprised to know,  I do jay walk sometimes (shh don’t tell). My hubby never crosses a street without my hand in his and knowing I’m ok with it.  We’ve learned to consider one another’s point of view, and over the years have learned to bend in places and have grace. Our pursuit to cultivate healthy communication in marriage has been well worth it. Like it says in the Bible:

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

Philippians 2:3 

If you keep this attitude in your everyday married life you will find an ease and peace will wash over your marriage. 

Healthy communication in marriage is in your reach, you just have to practice it!  The Bible also says in 1 Corinthians 13 which is known as the love chapter that “ Love is not easily offended”.  Keep this in mind while at home or traveling, if you feel things getting tense just zip your lips, have some grace and find yourself a baguette!