Episode #6-The Couple that plays together, stays together

Playing for Keeps: The Transformative Magic of Shared Adventures, Lifelong Memories, and Lasting Love in Marriage.

You’ve hear the saying, “The couple that plays together, stays together”. Well it’s actually pretty sound marriage advice. On this episode of the Podcast I talk about how my hubby and I have tried to be intentional in this area of our marriage.

Listen to the episode here:

Marriage isn’t hard it just takes intention

My hubby and I aren’t perfect by any stretch but we are just about to celebrate 19 years of marriage so we have some years to pull some wisdom we have learned. There are lots of tools that God has given us to help our marriages thrive in the way He designed. This is a great one, to add to your arsenal if you haven’t already!

I doubt anyone gets married thinking they will get divorced

The divorce rate in the United States is 50% and that goes for both Christian and non Christian Couples. This breaks my heart and God’s heart to. This is why it’s so important to be intentional in your marriage.

When my hubby and I were still dating we noticed how often married couples did things separate from each other, sports, movies, shopping etc. When at dinner parties we’d notice the men and women would convene to different areas, and we didn’t like it! We enjoyed doing things together and if we were hanging out with another couple we wanted to be all together.

It seems that people spend their whole dating trying so hard to prove their compatibility with their significant other, to each other and the world. Once married, they are prone to noticing and complaining about the differences.

Caroline Rogers

How do you prioritize “Playing together”?

When we got married we decided to keep pursuing hanging our together and spending our free time together just like when we were dating. How did we do it? One day, one choice at a time and 19 years later I’m here to tell you it has enriched our marriage incredibly.

The thing is to live this way you must be willing to deny yourself and serve your spouse. (You can read my blog post about serving your spouse well here)Watch the movie they want, do the vacation activity they choose. Let them in on the things you love and communicate your desire for them to enjoy it too!

And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.” 

Mark 9:35

Will this be easy to implement? Likely not at first especially if you have already been married for a while and are used to doing things separate. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue it. If you approach your spouse about it and they seem hesitant or resistant. I’d encourage you to pray, give it to the Lord then do your part in spending intentional time together even if it’s something you aren’t completely thrilled about. God will bless you and your marriage for it.

Why is this a hard thing? Because society has set a precedence that men don’t like shopping or romantic comedies. That women don’t like sports (watching or playing), action movies or sex. It’s often easier to give into the norms because that’s what your friends are doing or saying, or that’s how they do it in the movies.

I’d challenge you that if you want a marriage that doesn’t feel hard, that is fulfilling and doesn’t end up like most of the marriages in society to consider this tool you can use to enrich your marriage.

And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Matthew 19:4-6

Tips and thoughts on “playing together, so you can stay together”.

• If there is something you both like to do together, make that activity a priority over other things (amusement parks, coffee shops, breweries, movies, TV shows etc)
• Do you have friends that are constantly pushing the “girls weekend”, or even just regular time away from your spouse? Make those friendships less of a priority.
• Find other couple who are also prioritizing their marriages too and hang out with them
• Make sure your free time doing things with other people doesn’t supersede the free time spent with your spouse
• Be realistic with your season of life and get creative. Kids, careers, money fluctuations change how you can and will spend time together just make sure you are doing it
• Keep this conversation going throughout your marriage, don’t get stuck in a rut.

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To sum it up

If you don’t fight for your marriage nobody else will do it for you. Take it seriously and pursue being the couple that plays together and stays together!

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