Real House Wives of thew Kingdom -God’s faithfulness with deployment Episode #5
By God’s grace we live in the land of the free because of the brave
Navigating Military Deployment as a Wife – Finding Strength, Faith, and Hope
My very first bestie Lisa Eveland is a Military wife, she has experienced God’s faithfulness with deployment amongst many other things. She has been married for 18 years to her hubby who is a Master Sergeant in the US Air Force. In their first 5 years of marriage they endured 6 deployments.
As you can imagine deployments aren’t easy on either the soldier nor the family “holding down the fort” at home. These brave spouses march into the unknown and continue to cultivate a place at home and fight to keep a family unity in the face of long stints apart.
Dependency on God is essential
When I sat down to chat with my sweet long time bestie, I wanted those who might be facing deployment or even those feeling distant in their marriages to glean from her wisdom.
I of course have witnessed her faithful heart towards God our entire lives, and have seen the fruit she has from it. Dependency on God begins with trusting Him in the small everyday things, then you can truly experience His peace even when the hard things come.
Can you plan ahead to prepare your heart for deployment?
They knew when they moved to Valdosta Georgia that deployment was a certainty, the war had just begun and they needed “bodies” as Lisa explained it. She tried to mentally prepare but it was truly a trusting God day by day that helped her to get through. Here are some tips she gave for those who might be in the middle of a deployment or going into one:
- Pray everyday and spend time with God
- Communicate with your spouse daily, calls, emails, texts (keep talking about and listening to what is going on in each others worlds)
- Find community especially at church (this is what God designed the body of Christ to do)
- Hang out with friends of the same sex often (hanging out and making friends of the opposite sex is too much of a temptation to have an affair wether physical or emotional)
- Even if you have to ask make sure you have a friend that is checking in on you periodically
- Remember to think on the good and lovely things, don’t dwell on the what if’s
God is faithful to give you peace when you ask Him
Lisa had the hardest moment on their 7th deployment. She wept before the Lord and asked for His help. His peace washed over her, and every time she has asked she has received what she needed.
This is again because she doesn’t just talk to the Lord or study His Word when things are hard it is part of her everyday life. God is not a genie, but if you are walking with Him and know His character despite hard times which Jesus promised we would walk through, you can still have the strength and peace you need for today.
Lisa’s life verse and comfort is
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13
Cultivating your marriage
Even couples who aren’t dealing with deployment can find themselves distant from each other, emotionally and physically speaking.
You can read here my thoughts on keeping in rhythm and serving your spouse well
Even though we are talking today about deployment taking this into consideration for your marriage on the regular is a great way to keep things alive!
- Talk everyday with your spouse about life
- Think of things you can do that will show them you are thinking of them (in addition to talking most days Lisa sent Matt letters and packages because she knew he loved that)
How do you re adjust after your soldier comes home
While deployment can be a huge adjustment for our hearts, minds, bodies and schedules, likewise homecoming can be too. While Matt and Lisa didn’t experience a lot of major issues, she knew couples who had. Why is this? Likely expectations can play a role as well as how much you have continued to cultivate your marriage throughout the deployment. Here are some things to keep in mind:
- have grace for your spouse, like lots of grace
- keep reminding yourself of things they might have been through
- fostering realistic expectations of your re adjustment time is important
- put their needs above your own
A healthy marriage is the foundation for a healthy family
After our interview on God’s faithfulness with deployment, we sat around chatting. It was so evident to me how Lisa and Matt making their marriage a priority had made their girls feel secure and loved. Matt is about to find out there next orders and the girls were SO excited! They said, “what adventure do we get to go on next!?”.
Many military families lament the moving around and deployments, not to say they don’t come along with their challenges. But the Lisa and Matt have truly created an environment in their home were the girls love their parents, honor and respect their Dad’s work and even if they are going to miss certain friends or places have learned to truly embrace the spontaneity of military life.
So to my sweet friend Lisa, thank you for sharing your heart and for letting me interview you. Our friendship is a treasure to me! What a sweet example you have set for your girls, those near you and all who will hear your story.
I love you!
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